NewmarketToday welcomes your letters to the editor at [email protected]. Please include your daytime phone number and address (for verification of authorship, not publication). This is a copy of an open letter sent to Ontario Minister of Education Stephen Lecce from Pflag Canada York Region.
We are writing to you in response to (your) comments about a parent's right to know and involvement when a child chooses to socially transition at school by changing their name or personal pronouns. Though many of the minister’s comments made the morning of Aug. 28 were agreeable, we wish to impress upon you thoughts and sentiments we felt were missing that should be shared and considered if your government is thinking about policy changes similar to what has happened in New Brunswick and Saskatchewan over the last few months.
We agree with some of (your) comments yesterday; parents should be involved in these incredibly important moments in a young person’s life and we were pleased to hear the minister express an understanding of the unsafe environments some students continue to encounter.
What we disagree on is the notion of “a parent’s right to know” when it concerns their child’s gender identity. This is the main position the provinces of New Brunswick and Saskatchewan have taken to justify their policy changes. The issue is much more nuanced than that.
It is our position that this knowledge isn’t a right, but a privilege that is earned. A privilege that is determined by the child’s own decision to share this deeply personal information as a measure of the environment at home and determined by the courage and choice to disclose by our queer youth.
The policies in New Brunswick and Saskatchewan have been crafted without consideration of a parent's responsibility to provide a home environment that is safe and comfortable enough for their child to share their thoughts and feelings about their identity. It is well-known culturally and well-studied academically the many issues queer people face in today’s world.
Though we have come a long way, our communities still harbour individuals who simply hate the LGBTQ2IA+ community. Unfortunately, some of these individuals are parents.
These individuals have in recent years started to reorganize in a renewed campaign of hate and misinformation targeted against trans, non-binary and gender non-confirming people. These campaigns of hate and misinformation have permeated through our communities and it is our belief that the policy changes in New Brunswick and Saskatchewan are at best attempts to appease these groups of hate and at their worst influenced by that hate.
This issue has been wrongly positioned in these provinces as one about parental rights and the minister’s comments yesterday lean into this narrative without addressing parental responsibility. Coming out is still an incredibly frightening moment for many LGBTQ2IA+ people of all ages. One’s right to come out, to whomever and whenever they choose, is a right of self-determination and disclosure that cannot be infringed as the provinces of New Brunswick and Saskatchewan will soon discover.
For households with queer kids, one of the rewards of great parenting is the honour to join and support their LGBTQ2IA+ kids on their journeys as they navigate a world that is still unfriendly in many respects. Emphasizing this approach rather than a parent's right to know on this issue protects all possible parties.
For parents who are already supportive, nothing changes. For parents who are unsupportive or have discriminatory views of the LGBTQ2IA+ community, these policies can place queer kids at risk. For this reason, it is incredibly important we include discussions about a parent’s responsibility to provide safe and loving homes for all kids.
We wish to make our position clear, any attempt to infringe upon the rights to self-determination and disclosure of LGBTQ2IA+ kids and their identities will be met with fierce opposition by our community and allies. It is a mistake to favour a parents right to know over a queer kid’s right to disclose. Few things are more painful for a queer person than the feeling of being forced to come out.
That is what these policy changes will do; they pressure queer kids to come out to their parents and caregivers before they are ready. For some, regardless of how small the number, this can be life changing. It can even be life-threatening.
We hope the minister understands very clearly the issue at hand. As always, we will make ourselves available to collaborate and continue the conversation. We urge you to refrain from considering the path the governments of New Brunswick and Saskatchewan have chosen. They are misguided decisions and they will soon find out, decisions which infringe upon the minority rights of our queer youth.
Tristan Coolman
President, Pflag Canada York Region
Write to your local MPP, tell them what you think about this issue:
Paul Calandra (Markham-Stouffville)
[email protected]
Dawn Gallagher Murphy (Newmarket—Aurora)
[email protected].
Logan Kanapathi (Markham—Thornhill)
[email protected]
Stephen Lecce (King—Vaughan)
[email protected]
Caroline Mulroney (York—Simcoe)
[email protected]
Billy Pang (Markham—Unionville)
[email protected]
Michael Parsa (Aurora—Oak Ridges—Richmond Hill)
[email protected]
Laura Smith (Thornhill)
[email protected]
Michael A. Tibollo (Vaughan—Woodbridge)
[email protected]
Daisy Wai (Richmond Hill)
[email protected]
