The first-ever ‘chair-ity’ fundraiser for Newmarket’s Oasis Centre for Bereavement and Healing combines artistic creativity with gently used chairs to commemorate the loss of loved ones.
It’s an idea that was born to honour the presence of a loved one who has passed and to recognize that the empty chair still occupies a place in the hearts of the grieving, although no one sits there anymore.
“There’s a myth about grief that, at some point, you should just get over it,” Oasis founder and chairperson Michelle Nye said. “That’s just not true. You learn to live through it and with it. The love you carry for the person is always there.”
In 2009, Nye and husband Jeff lost their second daughter, Angelica, in the delivery room. They were living in Saskatchewan at the time and attended a support group and the local bereavement centre during the first year after their loss.
The support network they formed there became a “lifeline to coping with and navigating” the grieving process, a long road that stretched out before them, Nye said.
When they moved back to Newmarket, where Nye had grown up, they availed themselves of many “great” grief and bereavement services in town, but the help and support was spread out.
That was the genesis in creating a centralized hub, or one-stop-shop of resources, where people can turn in a time of crisis or at any stage in the grieving process.
“We’re helping to bring everybody together under one roof,” said Nye, adding that one telephone call is all anyone who’s grieving should have to make.
Oasis’s 12-person board has been meeting for about the last year, and last week it celebrated its official grand opening. Consultation with organizations and individuals who work in the field is ongoing, as Oasis fine-tunes partnerships with local counselling and support services.
An online resource portal is in the works for children, teenagers, parents and adults, and a calendar of events has just been rolled out.
Oasis receives no government funding and donations from the community are welcome, although the organization is not yet registered to issue charitable receipts.
While the centre builds out its local network of services, a variety of events are scheduled at locations in Newmarket to offer residents support, including the inaugural meeting of the fall support group tonight, Oct. 15, from 6:30 to 8 p.m. Email [email protected] for location details, and more.
Participants will have an opportunity to share their own personal stories and experiences and learn about the journey of grief from two trained facilitators.
As well, in honour of the Oct. 15 International Wave of Light day, celebrated worldwide to promote awareness of pregnancy and infant loss, residents can head down to Newmarket's Riverwalk Commons from 7 to 8 p.m. tonight for a short service with fellow baby-loss families.
Paper lantern candles will be provided, at no cost, on which to write the baby’s name, with participants then setting the lanterns afloat in the Tim Hortons Water Feature. The result is a continuous chain of light spanning and illuminating the globe for a 24-hour period in honour and remembrance of loved and longed for babies.
Also coming up Oct. 27 is the workshop, Grief and the Labyrinth, led by facilitator Vicki Cousins. Participants will be led through the labyrinth, a spiritual tool also known as walking meditation or path of prayer. The meditation inspires, guides and moves those in grief along the path of life. Tickets are $10 or pay what you can. The session will be held at Trinity on Main United Church, 461 Park Ave., from 9 a.m. to noon. To reserve a spot, visit here
The first in a series of three discussion session kicks off Thursday, Nov. 27 from 6:30 to 8 p.m. at Holland Landing Library, entitled Hope for the Holidays: Balancing Grief and a Season of Celebration. It will be facilitated by Keith Taylor. The library is at 19513 Yonge St., Holland Landing.
For more information about these or other events, email [email protected].
Here’s what you need to know about The Empty Chair fundraising auction event:
When: Saturday, Nov. 10 from 7:30 to 10:30 p.m.
Where: Newmarket Old Town Hall, 460 Botsford St.
What: 20 once-loved chairs that have been transformed into works of art by artists living in northern York Region will form the live auction. Each chair has its own story as envisioned by the artists. There will also be a silent auction, cash wine bar and refreshments.
Tickets: $10 per person or pay what you can.
Why: Proceeds from the fundraiser will go toward programs and services delivered by Oasis.
More info: To purchase tickets, visit here. To learn more about Oasis, visit here or call 289-934-0106.
About The Absent Princess chair, shown above, created by artist Vaughn Dues-Greenwood, ASID (American Society of Interior Designers):
Medium: Antique chair frame, vintage jewellery, paint, plastic baubles, glass beads, Indian and Mexican silver, liquid metal fabric.
Artist’s statement:
"This chair came about from a desire to help heal a friend who had lost a child as an infant. It is my way of saying that every little girl deserves to be a princess, and this chair is reserved for all the ones who were taken away before they had a chance. In many ways, the chair is also representing reincarnation and metamorphosis as it was being transformed.
For me, the challenge was to take something dark and give it new hope, to transform it into a vibrant, colourful and childlike adventure. It is not intended to an be an adult's vision of a chair; it is a flight of childish imagination.
Into it went vintage jewellery donated by friends, chair rims, scrap-booking trims and drapery tiebacks. It became an adventure for me at 70 years of age to let the inner child out and just play with materials until I had something that said the princess has just stepped out. Her tiara and sceptre await her return, and because children never leave our hearts, she is only absent.
The chair is now full of life and light, sparkling and full of promise. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed creating it. If you smiled, I succeeded."
