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Be gentle with yourself, those around you as we all have loss, death in our lives right now

Local soul care worker Cynthia Breadner discusses the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, and how to grow from loss
Supplied photo/Cynthia Breadner

LaoTzu said, “If you are depressed you are living in the past, If you are anxious you are living in the future, If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

As I grow and learn about myself, I listen to my soul and I find learning and exploring to be fascinating. I am always hungry to learn more. Take more courses. Share time in a learning environment and mostly grow to be a more rounded better person. I believe my soul contract is to learn humility and understand deeply that "we don't know what we don't know!"

In the landscape of 2020, so much stress and challenge has surfaced that troubles people and polarizes conversations. We are all learning how to be in this new world that has surfaced in our 2020 vision.

What does it mean to live today? Where do we go from here? How do we cope with changing landscape? What does it mean to be prudent and caring for our fellow human beings in a world that is lived out using technology and surfing the world wide web?

What I know is that grief, loss and sadness are a common thread, and in the old saying, "the only two things for sure are death and taxes", and death and taxes are front and centre.  There is so much death in day-to-day life we are overwhelmed.  There are those who have lost loved ones to COVID-19 and there are those who have lost jobs, lost income, lost family, lost relationships. Some may have lost their home, lost their car, and lost their way.

When we are so lost, the grief is huge and complicated. This grief is real and is all around. Everyone is suffering in one way or another. Time is universal, witnessed in many ways, and we all will die ... and we all will pay taxes. This time next year, the government will be assessing the CERB benefits and tax on the gifted money will be expected. So, this is a marathon not a sprint. 

One way I can help is in the concept of death. What does it mean to die? How do you want to die? What has died in your life that you are attempting to manage? Death is metaphorical as well as physical in these troubled times.

Be gentle with yourself and with those around you as we look with 2020 vision at the death in our lives. Looking at death brings new life, new vision and an understanding about our place, purpose and meaning in the world! 

Sit down and ponder ... look around and be grateful in the moment because this moment, it is all you have. This minute, this time and this space. We cannot suffer the future or the past because they do not exist. When we suffer it is in our imagination and our memories. Take this time, today, this minute to be at rest, breathe and be free of any stress.  In the moment there is no stress and once that is realized, everything will shift.

May blessings be upon you and yours as you find your way in the world. Plant the seeds of hope for tomorrow, today ... and then reap the harvest in a positive and wonderful fashion.  See that you only have this minute, today and realize the pregnant possibility in that!

Cynthia Breadner is a soul care worker who offers one-on-one homecare for aging adults. This care includes emotional support, physical care, mental well-being, and spiritual practices to sooth the soul.  She is a chaplain and a death doula, assisting with end-of-life for client and family.  She is the founder of GriefCafeBradford and practises soul care in the South Simcoe and northern York Region.