Admissions? I’ve got a few.
This may be my most controversial column ever. I am going to admit things I have kept secret for many decades, but now I am going to come clean.
I really do not love all the time-honoured traditions, foods, music, or events of the holiday season.
Before the judgment starts, I am probably among the most Christmas-y people you’ll ever meet, but I do have my limits.
I am afraid of baring my soul this way, but here goes.
I dislike probably the most beloved Christmas carol of all time: Silent Night. I have never liked it. I’m not sure if it’s the tune, the lyrics or the tempo, but whenever it comes on the radio, I skip it. I wish it was more silent.
A Facebook post from a friend reminded me of this one: Do They Know It’s Christmas? Remember that one from Band Aid back in 1984? Could it be any more depressing? I know it was meant to be a wake-up call/fundraising song about the plight of others, but it's a real downer.
Moving on to movies. I know this will make me sound like a true Grinch, but I have never watched, nor do I want to, The Sound of Music. I suppose it's not technically a Christmas movie, but it seems to air a lot during the holidays. There’s just too many perfect singing children and too much twirling.
Now, I'm not brave enough to talk smack about It’s a Wonderful Life and I won’t. My admission, though, is I don’t think I’ve ever watched it all the way through. I’m sure I’ve seen it all, at least in snippets, but that's one long movie. Yes, I know the message is beautiful, but it takes so much trudging through snow to get to the bell ringing.
Now, the food. Let’s face it, at Christmas we are all showing up for the food, right? I probably never met a carb I didn’t love. It's hard to find holiday fare that isn’t delightful, however, there are a few recipes I could skip.
Fruitcake. Well, that goes without saying. The only way I can stomach that heavy, dark brick is if it's missing the yellow and green dried fruit and has lots of marzipan icing. I know it's soaked in alcohol, but still. Otherwise, its best use would be as as a doorstop.
Candy canes. I feel like I am directly insulting Santa on this one. They are pretty and they are essential for Christmas, but I hate the taste of mint. I also have to take a pass on peppermint patties, mint hot chocolate, and mint ice cream. It all just reminds me of toothpaste.
Eggnog. It saddens me to say that I don’t enjoy it, because it seems like something that would be delicious. Just not my thing. I’ll trade you eggnog for hot cider, though.
Sprinkles. Yes, they are festive and I know kids love them. However, to me they are just little, hard pieces of sugar that ruin a perfectly good cookie.
Décor. I adore holiday decorations and anyone who makes the effort to celebrate and spread joy is to be celebrated. But, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not a fan of inflatables. They are so rarely inflated. In the daytime, they look like a cemetery of dead snowmen, reindeer and elves. It makes me sad to see them flattened.
This Christmas, to each his own, right? Delight in whatever makes you feel happy, warm and content. If you love it, that's all that matters. There is so much to enjoy.
These are just a few of my non-favourite things and, yes, I do know what movie that song came from.
