Dear readers, this week I wanted to write about a question I get asked a lot in my practice: “How do we avoid becoming dis-eased, broken, bitter, and worn down in the face of life’s hardships? I want to thrive, not just survive! Do you really think that is possible? And if so, how?”
This is what we all seek, really. Once we get to a point in life where we realize it’s very good with the sucker punches we struggle to be able to live fully, completely, without being crippled by the pain and hardship when they come our way.
And it’s how I define health. You see, to me, being healthy isn’t about my body size. It’s not about my cholesterol or blood pressure. It’s not about how many squats or burpees I can do. It’s not about my muscles or abs. It’s not about how long I live, because that’s so often out of our control.
Health, to me, is our ability to withstand the assaults of life and remain strong and vibrant and positive, despite them, for however long we get to live! Call it our resilience factor. Our ability to - in the face of insert stressor - rebound, adapt, and grow, without losing our instinct to play and move and fully experience joy along the way.
That is what I think health is. So today I want to talk about thriving.
Seasons of Sadness
That doesn’t mean there aren’t seasons of deep sadness and pain in our lives. It doesn’t mean there aren’t times of anger and creative maladjustment. It doesn’t mean we are never knocked down or thrown about by the storms that invariably come. But I do not believe pathologizing these states helps us.
Being sad because of trauma or death or heartbreak or horrible hardship is not sickness. It’s a natural reaction to those things. Pain exists to teach us. And it’s a normal part of the spectrum of human experience. As such, I don’t see it as a long-term or optimal solution to diagnose that as sickness or to medicate these emotional/ psychic pains away. And in fact, I don’t think medication can fully address psychic, emotional illness.
This is not to bash anyone who chooses to use medication for mental illness. Let me be clear. That is not what I’m talking about. Mental illness is not the normal, healthy reaction to life’s stressors and traumas. Mental illness is a deeper issue.
And I think I am qualified to speak to this. My son has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and a mood disorder on top of Asperger’s from the age of 7. I (and he) should, by any reasonable standard, be clinically depressed by now. I’ve peeked behind the curtain of Canada’s mental healthcare system and what I’ve seen is frightening. Appalling even. It has left my son utterly ravaged. Because of it I’ve experienced short periods of overwhelming depression, anxiety, and panic.
But, then, I rebound. And I’m again eager to get up in the morning, full of energy and open to life.
How. Is. This. Possible?
Resilience Factor
Some people would say it’s incredible or anomalous. Unnatural even. It isn’t the norm. But that’s not what I’ve come to believe. I’ve met others who have gone through worse and have come to experience the same levity and happiness again.
I think this resilience factor is something we are born with. All of us. Every single one. But we live in an environment where not strengthening the muscles we innately have to overcome such hardship, is very popular. If we choose this route when life gobsmacks us with a dead child or a life threatening diagnosis or a violent injustice we will be stroked and coddled for certain. There will be much clucking and cooing about and we will be offered anesthetizing medications. The medications will likely help in the short term. In the long term they can be our undoing. Just look to Jordan Peterson and the thousands upon thousands we have lost to opioid medications.
And big corporations will profit grossly from our pain. Of course, it may be what we need for a time. We all need to be bolstered up sometimes, by whatever means. There is no shame in needing help. But if we don’t, at some point, get past that and wrestle with getting up and finding our own strength and determination to live fully again - we won’t really know what it is we’re capable of.
And when we haven’t overcome our dementors, it really seems to me they like to come back for more.
The truth is, I get many clients who come to me despite such medications who are no better for it, but can’t stop the prescriptions because the side effects of going off them keep them stuck.
In holistic healthcare we believe the escalating side effects and symptoms after prolonged medication are because the body will not be silenced. The psyche and body that is injured and in pain is going to keep speaking more and more loudly until we give it the attention it needs to truly heal.
For some, this is a harsh pill to swallow. It seems like victim bashing. It’s not. I do not blame victims for needing help! I blame a broken healthcare system for exploiting them when they do reach out for help. I’m sure the bottles of opioid prescriptions seemed to be a kindness and relief when first offered to the thousands upon thousands of people they have since killed. In the end, they were not a kindness at all.
We need to be able to have these conversations without fear of retaliation because someone somewhere disagrees. We can’t expect to fix problems if we can’t discuss them.
I look at how people living in refugee situations cope for decades in horrible conditions and at how people survive and thrive after the trauma of war and genocides. I look at photos of people all over the globe smiling and laughing, despite events that have maimed and ravaged and robbed and displaced them. I look at the stories of adversity that populate the history of many of the greatest people who’ve lived. I do not think these people are special or unique. I do not think they have an especially optimistic personality or greater than usual amount of courage or intelligence.
I think the human body and psyche are designed to adapt and expand in the face of stressors - if we allow it to. And not just survive - but grow stronger, more resilient, more vibrant and clear and magnificent in the light of them.
Imagine for a minute that every time a lion cub in the jungle is knocked down by his siblings or by any other means, he is given a tranquilizer to keep him calm. Imagine the impact that would have on his adult development. What kind of lion will this grow to be? A frustrated lion that doesn’t know what it is capable of. This is not unlike our ability to overcome stressors. When we exercise that ability it becomes a stronger response. When we medicate to avoid stressful or painful situations (not for mental illness, which is different), we risk never knowing the potential we have to overcome.
That is why my nutrition recommendations are what they are. Not because a low carb, Ancestral or Paleo diet will make you the skinniest. Not because it rules out those disease traits you have inherited genetically. Not because it’s the diet that will make you live the longest.
A healthy weight, immunity to hereditary disease, satiety, and longevity are all side effects of this diet, but they are not the reason I advocate it. The reason for the dietary recommendations I give is that these recommendations make people strong and resilient physically and mentally. And that is my primary concern.
So what is my recommendation for thriving? An all natural, unprocessed, Ancestral or Paleo diet. I add low carb to that for non-athletic adults and anyone who is sensitive to sugars.
I love seeing clients who were unable to handle stress come to a place where it no longer phases them because their bodies have the nutrients to adapt and heal. For one such client testimonial, head over to my website at hopenotdope.ca. You will hear how a depressive and suicidal teen boy couldn’t find anything to help until he tried nutritional therapies.
If you like this approach and want to know more, join me on my blog at askthenutritionist.substack.com. As always, I welcome reader questions if you have one.
Namaste!
Nonie Nutritionista